October!

Wow. Well it sure as hell is already October. Starting the 7th week of school. Shit balls this is going fast. I feel like I just started. It's still the first week. This can't be happening. We are moving waaaayyyy too fast. And whats funny is I'm taking it a day at a time, except for really important things to remember like tests and such... Taking it a day at a time seems to make things move faster.
I'm so over school. I can't focus on anything at all, except my craft. I'm scared shitless about whats going to happen in 30 weeks when I graduate. I'm stuck in a rut. I need to do something that scares me to death. Singing in front of people? Like, legit singing? Yeah... Maybe I'll do that... Perhaps go skydiving... Or walk through the Winchster Mystery House... AAAHHHH!!!! I hate scary, haunted houses. I HATE THEM. Therefore I should go...
Well this is a pretty pointless post (oooo alliteration) seeing as how I am just avoiding homework. Another thing I am sooooooo done with. Tests, homework, quotations, reviews, papers. NOPE. DONE. I can't take it anymore. I want to rip out my eyeballs and throw them in the garbage disposal, and of course turn it on, when I look at homework. A pretty graphic image, I know, but it's exactly how I feel. And this is how I know I don't want Grad school. I don't want to go through this feeling every time I have to sit down and do homework. I understand it would be for my craft. I get that. And doing theatre homework is different. But when I have to take a test or write a paper just to prove that I understand what I have been taught? Bullshit. Let's have office hours, and that's my test. Let me talk it out with you therefore when I have any questions or are unsure of anything, you can explain it to me right there and then. There's no guesswork involved. No chomping at the bit because I so fucking nervous...
Yup. That's my rant for the day. Hope you enjoyed it. I'll be here all week.
One thing that I absolutely need to do is stand up. A BIG fear of mine. Mind you, when it happens I will tell nobody, because I don't want any one I know to be there. It will be horrendous, BUT not a failure because I do not believe in that. It will be quite possibly the biggest life lesson ever, and therefore I am scared shitless. LOOKS LIKE I NEED TO DO IT! Maybe I'll go to Texas and do one, where no body knows me and I can be as weird as I need to be, get laughed at, booed at, tomatoes thrown at me and build the craft out there, then bring it back to Cali. Maybe I'll live in Houston with the rents. Save money. Then move to LA. No... I don't want to do that... But I do hear the Houston is beautiful... Very green...

<3 :)