Trial.

I found out this evening that my Grandmother reads my blog. I never thought this day would come. Hope she doesn't mind my potty mouth... Sorry Gramma...

I had a real audition today, in North Hollywood, inside an actual conference room at the Plaza apartments on Woodman ave. Heard of it? Me either, until about 5:45 this evening. Here is a retelling of today's events. Hope you're sitting.

I get up early so I can hang out with a friend of mine that has come into town to check out law schools, shout out to Sky doggg, and we sit around and shoot the shit for a bit. I get a call from Ruth, talk about cars, wish Skylar on her merry way, jump in the shower and get ready for work. As soon as I get to work at 11:56 a.m I say "hola!" to my coworkers and immediately ask my manager is he could do me a favor, let me off a half an hour early so I can drive to Sherman Oaks and be at an audition at 6. I don't think he understood the urgency of having to drive north on the 101, on a Friday, at 4 p.m which is practically impossible to do. He said if I could find someone to come in a half hour early, then yes. I have 2 people I could call, and I do, on my break, but let's not jump ahead.

I get on the line and of course it's busy. It's always busy at Chipotle. It never ends. The one time I have seen this specific Chipotle not busy is between 3:30 and 3:35 p.m. Other than that there is always a line. ALWAYS. In saying this, I don't get my break until 3 p.m. I only have an hour before the transition happens. Great. I call the two people and neither of them answer. Cool. I call them again and again no answer. Shit, I'm thinking. I'm not going to make it. This is a nightmare. I need to be there. As soon as I clock back in from my break I finish making the second batch of chips, you're welcome, and stock my area, tortilla, so I can leave right at 4. But wait! Could this possibly be yet another line forming? You bet your ass it is. I don't have time to stock because I am running around as fast as I can to help everyone as fast as I can so I can get the hell out of there AS FAST AS I CAN. My coworkers arrive and jump on. I tell them I'm going to stock so I can leave. I do so, grab my tips, and leave.

Btw, I'm saving all of my tips so far for a tattoo. But that is to be continued...

I drive home, slowly of course because it's 4 p.m on a Friday and EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHER is driving home. I make it home by 4:30, put my head under a faucet, because I have major hat hair, blow dry it, change, fix my make-up, switch purses and leave by 4:56. A record if you ask any other woman. I get on the 101 N and it's not completely bumper to bumper, but very little movement is happening. By some grace of God I am making decent time, but not good enough. I get off at Ventura Blvd. and follow that up to Sherman Oaks. On the way I pass a CVS and think "I should stop and print my headshot... Nah, there will be one closer." There wasn't. I pass the complex where the audition is at 5:38. Fantastic time. I flip a bitch and drive back to the CVS. For some reason, southbound on Ventura was more busy then the opposite, so it takes me longer to get to my destination. I arrive, park, and practically skip to the kiosk to print the wonderful headshot that I am oh so proud of. Get there, select the picture to print, and hit go. This grandmother, mother and child in front of me had to print off what seemed to be a million pictures, so I have to wait 10 minutes. No bueno. They finish, mine prints, I pay and I'm back to races.

Why is it every time you are in a rush, everyone around seems to sense that and then move at a snails pace?

Make it to the complex, score with a parking spot right in front, staple my resume to the headshot and go in. Thankfully everyone else was 10 minutes late too, so I didn't feel bad about it at all. And now myself, a small child, and two other women who are auditioning with me wait. I thought it was strategic and clever to wear green to the audition for a woman in the army. Apparently that was a popular thought. Gain some useful information by taking to the others auditioning. The director comes out to talk to us, tell us the deal about the audition and such. We get handed scripts to do cold readings and are given 5 minutes. I lip-read over the script about 5 times, it was only 3 pages long, look to the other girls and head in. There were three characters an we read the scene three times switching out the characters. We did a slate first, which was cool, then started reading. I was first the commander, then the soldiers, then a second in command. The director told us, after we went through the three scenes, to do the last grouping again but let it happen organically. Don't prepare with a character. We start, the scene is rolling, and the girl playing commander isn't paying attention to us at all. She's just speaking. Me and the other lady in the audition were playing well with each other. Once we finish, the director says she liked the authority the commander gave. She said she liked the point of views the soldiers gave. Told me I was on point with the character and that what I gave was exactly what she wanted. We do a couple more readings for the character Mitchell, they take our picture with the little boy and that was that.

I had an actual, for real, audition. It was so exhilarating. And frightening. But FUN. Good thing I love to audition, huh? Oh and if there are any Chico theatre students reading this, DO NOT THROW AWAY OR FORGET ANYTHING YOU LEARNED IN BILL JOHNSON'S AUDITIONS CLASS. It will save your life in this business. For real. I was told to come prepared with a contemporary dramatic monologue. I am so relieved I had my monologue portfolio on hand. I was able to pull Ellen from LUV right back to me within 12 hours. AND we did cold readings. So many people psych themselves out over a cold read, but it's all about connection. Seriously, read out loud for 5 minutes a day. You'll pick up and learn things so much quicker and easier so you have time to pay attention to the other people in the room. No joke.

Today was a busy day. Tomorrow is a busy day as well. The Oscars are on Sunday. I'm going to stock up on wine.

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