Our tear ducts need a rest

Break ups are hard. It doesn't mater if you've been dating for 2 months or 2 years. They hurt. They sting. Only because at some point in the extent of your relationship you truly cared deeply for your respected other. It's never fun to tell someone you just don't feel it anymore. You'd almost rather say "I cheated on you" "you're ass looks fat in those jeans anyway" "I'm moving to a far distant land where I need to focus on the culture" but unfortunately, that wont due. Both parties need closure and honesty is ALWAYS the best policy. It will indeed hurt like a dagger through the heart, you'll feel like you'll never bounce back, but it is necessary.

I feel selfish. I was single for just about two and a half years and then I met this amazing guy and we hit it off, got disconnected for a bit, then started right back where we were and spent some truly wonderful moments together. But when you know, you know. I feel selfish because in those two and a half years I really reflected on myself, my life, my friends, my schooling and my work. I was single my senior year of college and all through my first year living in LA. You'd think that's enough time to reflect, right? You'd think you'd have figured your shit out, you're solid. You've had all of this time to focus on YOU. So when you meet this incredible man, who truly is a gem among stones, you know it's perfect. It's meant to be. Everything has led you here, to this spot.

But the honeymoon phase doesn't last forever. And you realize that all that time you had to 'reflect' has only led you to this point in your life, where you indeed need legitimate time for yourself in this mad, crazy, sadistic world. How can you possibly expect to give yourself to someone if you have no idea who you're giving, let alone if you SHOULD give them an unfinished product? It's unfair to you and your partner. A relationship runs both ways and you can't expect the other person to meet you at your end every single time. And maybe it's over right now, but that doesn't mean that it's over forever. It is simply not in the stars for you two right now.

Being an adult is hard, heartache hurts, but the beautiful thing is that the sun will continue to rise. You will continue to breath. Life will continue to go on. The only thing now, as my dad says, is that I'll be able to use this. I need wine.

Stay honest, LA.

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