Welp...

That happened. I auditioned Monday night. Wasn't nervous at all, more excited and anxious that this was the last time I was going to audition for these professors. Felt good about it. Went home and slept. Tuesday comes and the callback lists are up by 9 a.m. I go to them. My heart sank. No call back? I didn't sing, so I didn't bother looking at that one, but no callback for A Doll House? This is weird. A joke right. They just happened to forget my name. I checked it again and again but still, nothing. My first class on Tuesday and Thursdays, Advanced Voice for Performance, is taught by the director of the show, the wonderful and talented Bill Johnson. I sat there, all class, in shock. Trying to listen but replaying my audition over and over in my head. What did I do wrong? Did I not say my name? Did I make enough choices? I love the monologues I used, and I'm pretty sure you could tell, so this can't be happening, right? So many things could have happened. I talked with a couple of my peers about the situation, and they were in the same amount of shock I was. I then made the very bold decision to ask him about it.
After class let out, I walked up to him and as I was he was pulling out the call back list. I said that was exactly what I wanted to ask him about. He said okay. "You had a really great audition. Your best here, I think..."
But...
"One of the best I saw that night..."
But...
"You just don't fit in the world of the play."
Whoa. What? I probably shouldn't have, but I scoffed a little and said "I don't fit in the play? Even though you cast me as Christine when we did scenes from it in Styles last year?"
"Hmm... Yeah..."
Then, my balls dropped.
"Well, I'll be here at 7."
He continues to look at the call back sheet, retracing his steps. "Weren't you called back for the musical?"
"Nope, I didn't sing. I'll be here at 7."
"Hmm... Okay. Why don't you be here at... 7... and prove it. Prove to me that you belong. Take it."
"Okay, Bill. I will." and I left. OH MAN DID I FEEL EMPOWERED! It was wonderful. I did it. I stood up for myself because I KNOW I can do this role. I fit in this play, and he wasn't going to stop me. So I go to work and I am juiced. Talk about adrenaline. I could not wait until 7 when I could show this man he was wrong.
6 rolls around and I'm off work. I go home, change back into the same shirt I wore to auditions, a pair of leggings, some boots and a belt (always) and I leave. Bitch facin' the whole way because i am DETERMINED to show him. Get there. Warm up the voice, and he walks in. I look at him, he looks at me and kind of smirks. He's ready. I'm ready. Let's do this. I first read with Kevin, a Christine and Krogstad scene and we kill it. We do really REALLY well. I then read the same scene with Joe and again, really REALLY well. Then with Erin for a Nora Christine scene and again, REALLY well. And one last time with Austin. Wow. I was feelin good. He releases us and we all say our thank you's and Brit and I go get a beer. Wow. Hyped up to the EXTREME at this point. Go home. Sleep. Wake up and get to school for the second call back list, and guess who's on it... I am. That's right. ME. Wow. I couldn't believe it and I was so so so so SO happy. It was happening. I was changing his mind. I could really do this, and he saw that last night...
I don't want to make this long story longer, so I'll stop by saying I wasn't cast, but I put up one hell of a fight. A wonderful actress got the roll, and she is going to be magnificent in it and I am so excited to see what she brings to it when I watch it in April.
It's relieving, to some extent, to know that it's not my talent, training or education. I'm strictly not what he was looking for LOOKS wise. and I am okay with that.
I am proud of myself. May be a little selfish or pompous but I don't care. I stood up for me. This was my last chance at working with him, here at Chico State and I wanted to prove to him that I could, and I really believe I did.
I was cast in Phase Forward as the Fox. not the main and certainly not a lead supporting. A small role. A low stress role. A very heavily movement oriented role and I am excited for something new. Therefore, I leave you with these pictures, and everytime you see one of these cute, cunning creatures, think of me :)

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