Rocky

Here I am, a college graduate of now 3 months. Well, basically.

I am different. A lot has changed for me and my friends. When graduation happened it was surreal. Like it wasn't actually happening. I was really excited, and I still am, that I don't HAVE to go back to school like everyone else but right now I feel like "well, what else are you going to do? You better figure SOMETHING out."

This summer for me has been a growing and changing experience. May 21, 2011 I graduated. The next 3 days I picked up everything and moved to a new house. Then I flew to Seattle immediately following to see my nephew, Noah Ryan Mack, for the first time. Spent about 4 days in Seattle with my parents, brother and sister-in-law and had an amazing time. Came back and worked my butt off to save money for Summer Arts. Found out that I was blessed and awarded an AMAZING scholarship of close to $2,100, for both tuition and housing, and that I only then had to pay $363 out of pocket (such a blessing). Continued to work my ass off until I realized that I hated my job, and my managers noticed too because I got less and less hours (in fact I'm almost positive that he 'hired someone to take my place' because he was tired of me being there, but I'm getting there...). Soaked up the sun with my girlfriends. Exercised A LOT. Hiked Feather Falls, which was the second time for me and blew my mind just as it did the first time. Before I knew it, June 24th had showed up and I got to drive to Fairfield to catch up with old friends, and then the 25th I got to drive to Fresno to begin my month long journey of constant craft research and development.

Summer Arts is a whole different beast to write about. This was my third time, and quite possibly the best, although Chicago Style Comedy is a tough one to beat (not that there's a competition). This year I took the Micheal Chekhov Psychological Gesture intensive for the first two weeks and Steppenwolf West Viewpoints and Improvisation intensive for my second. W O W. What a month. How is it possible that in 4 weeks time, out of a persons entire 21.5 years of existance, I can be so sure, open, creative, willing, vulnerable and scared shitless at the exact same time? I had no idea what to expect from either workshops, because I had never really dived fully into them in my studies at Chico State, but they both simply blew my mind (I will write a whole seperate blog explaining the difference. It NEEDS it's own blog). Here I was able to work with about 60 of the most talented, gifted and amazing human beings I have ever met and I will forever be changed.

Thank you all.

Then July 20th happened and my world changed even more. Called my work to say I was to be back on Monday, he said they didn't need me. Now I was jobless, living off of savings, and out of town 'acting.' Cool. I obtained the courage to call a restaurant I had been desperately trying to get an interview at to see if they would talk with me, and thankfully they were setting up interviews that exact day. Interview obtained for Saturday July 23rd at 3:45 p.m. Our Summer Arts culmination happened and I was so in the moment I couldn't tell you what happened. So much bliss. Then, sadly, July 23rd reared its beautiful ugly head and I had to make the 5 hour trek back to Chico (the good part though was that there were people waiting to talk to me). Get to Chico. Shower. Get dressed. Go to interview. Went so well I could have cried and screamed at the same time (which I have done and it hurts). Hang out with my main ladies the next few days. Make an impromptu decision to join them on a camping trip to Forks, Washington. Fight with my mom about money and express my heart to her about family and friends and the time I need to spend with them while I have them (whether I can afford it or not). Get a call on Thursday saying I got the job (as soon as the manager hung up I did the whole clap your hands like an athlete 'LET'S GO' kind of way. So stoked). Drove 14 hours on Friday. Signed paperwork on Saturday. Said 'see you later' to my dear DEAR friend (who is going to kick ass in NYC). Hung out for a week or so. Started work the following Saturday and have been in bliss with it ever since. Danced. Partied. Got drunk. Had FUN. Talked with my other half. Drank wine. Watched movies.

And now here I am, NOT starting school on August 22, 2011 and I tell you, I could not be more elated or mortified at the exact same time in my entire life. I will be so utterly bored that I will force myself to read books. Memorize my lines early (and KICK ASS as Magenta). Get in shape outside of the gym (running buddies?). Go skinny dipping. Skateboard. Flirt with younger AND older guys. Write about and for anything. Sing. Learn to play an instrument. Do yoga. Fall in love. Fall out of love. Get into a little and a lot bit of trouble. Take new headshots.

I will force myself to be a 21 year old who has just graduated college and has her entire life ahead of her.

There's a massive smile on my face right now.

:) <3