Funky fried

Instant regrets. We all have them. They are the feelings of self doubt and stupidity right after we do something we felt necessary or really wanted to do. We could jump ship to a big regret like saying something stupid when you're drunk, we've all done it, or made out with someone you would NEVER make out with in the daylight, I've done it while I was drunk. It happens. But INSTANT regrets are the day to day things that happen to us all. They catch us by our pinky toes and make us look, and feel, like complete and utter idiots. Let's start, shall we?

1. Brushing you're teeth. I know, I know. We all have to brush our teeth or else they fall out of our heads BUT I mean brushing your teeth while you're getting ready for the day, before you've eaten anything and especially before drinking orange juice. INSTANT REGRET. Brushing your teeth when you think you're ready to, then right after you get the sudden undeniable urge to drink an 8 oz. glass of orange juice. Bad idea. What's worse is after you take that first sip, you can't stop. You have to drink the rest of it. SO you do. And you're angry with yourself because it was the stupidest idea you've had all week. Yeah, instant regret...
2. Painting your nails (I can't classify this to only women, men do it too...). Why is it that right after we paint our nails we conveniently have to make a delicious meal? Or we just HAVE to go on Facebook? Or we ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO CHANGE OUR ENTIRE OUTFIT!? I am beyond guilty of this. My nails are never quite perfect because I simply get impatient, and I know you do too. INSTANT regret. What's worse is after you do the required 2 coats of your nail color and you're waiting to put the top clear coat on, you just can't wait, so you go ahead and do it when your nails aren't quite dry THEREFORE your brush get's a little tint of your nail color and transfers it back to the bottle of clear nail polish. INSTANT REGRET. I have 3 bottles of clear nail polish that all have a slight tint of red... Yikes...
3. Drinking coffee early in the morning, or any time really. I drink coffee not for the caffeine, but for the help in the digestive process. Yup. I said it. Therefore I like to drink it when I wake up so I can get it out of the way. PROBLEM: As soon as you drink coffee be prepared to be near a bathroom for the next 30 minutes to an hour. Simple as that. I regret making coffee the instant I put the first scoop in the filter, but I can't stop and neither can you. ALSO as soon as I take my first sip of coffee, with lots of creamer in it, it's another INSTANT regret because I know that when I am done with this cup of joe I will be sitting on the toilet with a bad, dry taste in my mouth that no amount of water will get rid of. You've been there too...
4. Last, but certainly not least, for instant regrets is commenting on someone's status, picture, wall post or activity on that cult we like to call Facebook. First off, Facebook makes it totally okay to completely stalk someone, especially with this new exact location feature. You can keep tabs on almost ANYONE. Second, the notification system is really wack. And now this subscribe/unsubscribe thing? Oh Goooood... Back to the instant regret at hand. Commenting on anything on Facebook is like signing your own notification death wish. The very second you hit the enter button when you sincerely want to comment on someone's beautiful picture or their witty status is when regret hits you on the forehead like a tennis racket (that hurts, by the way). You know that in a mere 5 minutes you'll have 5 new notifications, one for each minute, and none of them will be intended for you. They are all intended for that common person who had that witty status, or beautiful picture. NOT TO MENTION there is always that one person who disagrees with everyone, therefore sparking a debate, leading to even more notifications that you could care less about. NOT NECESSARY. INSTANT REGRET. Always.

There are so many more that I could only limit the ones I found insanely important. You've all had these. You've all felt the pain of instant regret. Just laugh. There is nothing you can do, unless of course you don't care about personal hygiene, don't like to be fluid, like having nubs for fingers or are anti-social.

 Beee happy.
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